Challenging old paradigms and discovering renewed desire.
Not sure how I imagined I’d look and feel in my 60s.
When Blanche from ‘Golden Girls’ was getting it on in 1985, I was a mum in my twenties. Her shameless galivanting around was just plain comical. No older woman in my life behaved that way.
No one prepared me for growing older physically. My elders never gave me the heads up I’d forever identify as being ‘young’ despite my body ageing
I guess we make assumptions and judgements about stages of life as it affects other folks — until we get there ourselves. Then we get the cosmic giggle!
I’ll admit I’ve held beliefs about ageing that were down-right negative, which I attribute to watching my mum and aunties age without too much self-care and working twenty years in the Aged Care sector. Media and social pressures played their part in my programming, for sure!
But I realise, now in my sixties, I got so much of it wrong.
Sex, intimacy and relationships as we age have many iterations.
I know this because my ageing experience has challenged paradigms that aren’t working for me.
For one, I imagined my sex drive would disappear. It hasn’t.
Coming out of a long marriage and taking a lover, I feared sex would be awkward and off-putting. Oh, how wrong I was!
Making love with a considerate partner was such a positive experience. Sure, as new lovers, it had its bashful, awkward moments. But that’s to be expected whether we’re in our sixties or twenties.
What amazed me was how my body came back to life! It wasn’t a progression of ageing as much as it was self-love locked down!
When I stopped feeling miserable and opened my heart to the joy of a soul connection, how many birthdays I’d celebrated became irrelevant.
Sex with my partner was a time to laugh out loud. I got to drop all the pretentious body image shit that kills desire — and make some noise!
Yes, blokes might need to communicate their prostate issues, and gals might struggle with menopausal symptoms like vaginal dryness. Maybe our knees are shot, and maybe our hip joints are playing up. Honestly, though, tender loving accommodates all these factors.
Sex with strangers on one-night stands is not my style. So that’s not what I’m referring to here.
When we talk about feeling sexy, I remember having less sex drive in my thirties! When back then, a state of arousal was thwarted by being on call to three children, working full time, studying, and staying involved in my sport while busing kids around to theirs.
It’s comforting to know if you’re a young woman reading this, you can be a sixty-year-old sex kitten when all those years of rearing kids are behind you!
Hormonal shifts later in life don’t have to kill your libido – or your ability to have multiple orgasms.
As a woman who has an aversion to the word ‘old’, I get a buzz from hearing stories of women finding a big love later in life. Women who are in relationships that are not just healthy — they’re sexed up!
As I age, I’m discovering my body is a source of pleasure in unique and diverse ways.
Yes, ageing throws up health challenges that, more and more, we are learning we can mitigate with exercise, fasting, targeted nutrition, meditation, creative self-expression and family and social connections.
Tick all those boxes, and life, as we age, can be pretty darn sexy sweet.
Love, light & laughter