Then get back up and reinvent yourself
Leave behind what no longer fits
I’ve hidden from a world that beat the crap out of me — more than once. The last time it happened, I gave up my job and hung around the house for eight months living off my savings. I had good reason to fall apart. But I knew I couldn’t stay there. Knew I didn’t WANT to stay there
Looking back from the vantage point of being healed, I can see how I was gifted a rare and fragile opportunity to put myself back together again — UPGRADED.
Let me share with you 5 LIFE HACKS I used to put Ms. Humpty Dumpty (me!) back together again!
1. De-identify with your old ‘self’
I gave myself a new name to break free of the old me — the woman I was leaving behind.
Taking on a new name proved to be a powerful circuit-breaker.
It began by choosing a name for myself that didn’t invoke past memories or personas. I was christened Catherine. Over the years, that got shortened to Cath, Cathy, Kate, Katie, and even Tassie.
But no one ever called me CAT. So that’s the name I gave myself.
It was surreal being called Cat. It definitely took some getting used to. Even now, when people refer to me as Cat, there is this lead-in moment when I prod myself, “hey, that’s you!”.
After my divorce last year, I decided to move away from my married name — a name I’d identified with for 37 years. I’m now writing under my maiden name FARRAR.
Weird, isn’t it, how the surname I was given at birth feels like I’m wearing it for the first time!
2. Take the journey within
I said goodbye to my adult children and grandees, family and friends, work colleagues, and neighbors to get out on the road to quiet the noise in my life.
To not have my life mapped out but rather live in flow with this inner guidance that whispers to me in moments of connection.
Once I learned to observe myself and how I responded to the world around me, following my Inner Guidance became second nature.
My desire to have and own ‘things’ fell away, replaced with a yearning to seek out meaningful experiences, higher learning, and uplifting relationships. To learn to be OK with my life.
I never question the inspired thoughts that wash over me. It’s like I’m having this unending conversation with my Higher Self that sees beyond my material reality and taps into the energy and consciousness behind it.
I sense this vital force in the Universe has my back. There’s nothing out here on the road that I need be fearful of.
3. Don’t focus on the bad stuff
I am the Alchemist of my life. Therefore I try not to dwell on what I do not want. Only what I imagine or dream for myself.
My world mirrors back to me the energy I put out. And I take full responsibility for that.
If something isn’t working or elicits a negative reaction, I examine how I hold my energy and thoughts.
That is to say, I accept I’m a work in progress! Sometimes I can hit the reset button and get things on track within minutes or hours. Sometimes not.
4. Age backward
For shits and giggles, I created a collage on my phone using two images of myself — one taken in 2018, a year before I ended my marriage, the other taken after I’d been single a few years.
I appeared to look younger in the image taken recently.
I’d never have picked up on this had I not pulled out pictures of myself looking frumpy and miserable (in my abusive marriage) versus an image of me now two sizes thinner, confident, happy, and owning my life.
I attribute my transformation to:
- unpacking and removing the layers of programming that drive my behaviors and beliefs (reality hacking!)
- making time for self-care — eat well, listen to my body, take long baths
- healthily stressing my body through exercise, yoga, dance
- living in an environment that resonates with positivity,
- seeking out new, uplifting friendships,
- coming from a place of heart and mind coordination,
- engaging in youthful self-talk,
- adopting a gleeful, child-like approach to life,
- allowing myself to come alive, and
- learning to love again.
All that inner work magically transformed my outer reflection.
5. Stay grateful
It’s about being in a perpetual state of appreciation for all of it — the blessings and setbacks life dishes up!
It’s about seeing and being thankful for the people who show up in my life.
Wishing you all lots of love and light on your journey.